


Next Board!

by oh_heccity



Series: Five Times Spider-Man was Interviewed and the One Time Peter Parker was [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Cute Peter Parker, Other, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony stark is done with Peter, WIRED autocomplete interview, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 21:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17857049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_heccity/pseuds/oh_heccity
Summary: Spider-Man and Tony Stark (also known as Iron Man) were invited to do a WIRED autocomplete interview, Tony gets a little tired of Peter's antics but what can you do? Punch him for being stupid?...Quite possibly.





	Next Board!

**Author's Note:**

> No Peter Parkers were hit/hurt in the making of this

"Hi I'm Spider-Man and I'm here with Mr. Stark to do a WIRED autocomplete-" Peter turned his head at Tony who was sitting with his leg thrown over the other, waiting for him to finish his sentence but Peter sighed when Tony didn't. "We're doing a WIRED autocomplete interview. Hand me a board please!" Peter called out behind the camera and caught the board that was flung at him. 

"So," Peter tore off the piece of paper. " _What is Spider-Man's name?_   I don't have a name, sorry guys but you can call me Spidey if you see me webbing around.  _What is Spider-Man's phone number?_ What the fuck? Is this like for a YouTube thing?"

"Spider-Man does not have a phone number so please stop asking," Tony finally spoke.

"You know how cool it would be if-" Peter started to speak but was quickly interrupted by Tony who clapped a hand over Peter's mouth.

"No," Tony interrupted, "Out of all the bad ideas you could have, getting a public phone number is possibly the  _worse_ idea that I have ever heard come out of your mouth. And a lot of dumb shit comes out of your mouth every damn day!" 

"But having a public phone number would be so cool! I could make new friends, help more people and did I mention making new friends?"

Tony let out a sigh as he ran his free hand over his face. "Yes but people could also track where your number comes from and potentially kill you." 

"Bold of you to assume that I don't want to die," Peter said with a completely monotone voice as he looked at Tony before looking at the camera, the goggles on his mask giving the camera a dead stare. 

Tony let out another sigh.

The goggles on Peter's mask slanted a bit as he pushed off Tony's hand to answer the next question. " _What are Spider-Man's weaknesses?_ Uh puppies and bug spray." A moment of silence as Peter's hand was posed over the next slip of paper. "If any of the people I fight are watching this, bug spray actually isn't my weakness? It just taste bad so I really don't recommend drinking it." 

"When the  _fuck_ did you drink bug spray?" Tony yelled, his head whipping towards Peter who laughed slightly.

"It was a dare Mr. Stark! Five,  _five_ dollars were on the line!" Peter tried to explain himself. "What did you expect me to do? Be smart and say no? Of course I wasn't gonna say no, I'm now five dollars richer!"

Tony let out a long sigh and he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe I fucking deal with you everyday." 

"You know you can just not deal with me?" Peter said innocently as he peeled off the next slip of paper. " _What is Spider-Man's favorite vine?_ Whoops my anarchy symbol! I just uh, I really feel it in my bones you know? Next board please!" Peter said as he tossed the previous board away, wincing when it made a large noise against the floor.

" _What is Tony Stark's real name_ _?_ " Tony read off and soon furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the question. "What the fuck? Uh, I guess Tony Stark?" Peter tore of the next paper and laughed when he read the next question. " _What's Tony Stark's favorite vine?_ I don't watch Vine, nor will I ever. Spidey you can try all you want but I will never understand Vine."

"I like to align Mr. Stark with the no yelling sock cause every time I say something stupid he gets this look on his face, like watch," Peter turned to Tony who already looked tired. "When butterflies get nervous do you think they get humans in their stomachs?"

Tony let out a long sigh and ran his hand over his face. "Let's keep going,  _what is Tony Stark's iq?_ Pretty smart I guess, I don't really remember taking the iq test but a lot of people say it's above 160."

"Mr. Stark if you went to school you'd definitely get a few wet heads from being dunked in a toilet." Peter said, his knees drawn up to his chest, now practically curled up on the small directors chair he was sitting in. "Maybe getting stuffed in lockers if you were small enough."

"Kid what the fuck are you going on about? Do you need to talk about what's happened in school?"

"No, I'm only speaking my mind right now Mr. Stark! Plus haven't you seen any of the old school movies? That's exactly what goes on if someone is a nerd! I can see that _someone_ doesn't appreciate the classics."

"You think that the original Star Wars are old," 

Peter quickly tore of the next paper to ignore the previous comment that Tony had just said. " _What is Tony Stark's net worth?_ " 

"Now this I actually know, I believe the last time I looked it was 12.4 billion." 

Peter's mouth practically dropped to the floor. "Odd flex but okay. But God, I wish I had that much money like I could buy so many dogs. I could become the fucking Noah's Ark of dogs! Wouldn't that be fucking cool Mr. Stark?"

"No because you already act like a dog and sometimes taking care of you is stressful." Peter frowned and crossed his arms while Tony turned to the people being the camera, quickly tossing the last board away. "Could we have the next one please?" 

"Thank you!" Peter called out as he caught it. "Alright,  _Can Spider-Man talk to spiders?_ Due to personal reasons I would like to keep that a secret but I will tell you guys this, they don't call be Spider-Man for nothing." 

Tony let out a long sigh as he rubbed the bridge of his nose again. "Spidey, if I find you on the ceiling again talking to spiders in the Tower at 4 fucking AM I will be forced to kick you out to the dogs." 

"Good thing that I love dogs! Next question,  _Can Spider-Man get drunk?_ Well, I don't really like the taste alcohol but if I did my metabolism burns through it too quick so it's like, adult apple juice but toxic? Moving on  _Can Spider-Man lift Thor's hammer?_ I don't know to be honest, I haven't really met Thor yet and I don't think he has his hammer anymore? Or at least that's what Dr. Banner told me," 

"Since when have you met Bruce?"

Peter tapped a finger to his chin, "I think I met him a while back when you were at a meeting with Ms. Potts!." 

"And you decided to bring this up with me now?"

Peter sighed and the goggles on his mask slanted into a frown. "Because," 

Tony let out a loud groan and waved his hand. About to say something until someone behind the camera spoke up. "Sorry to cut this short you two but we're already past the time and someone else is coming in for an interview." 

"Of of course, plus it's not that fun to hear us bicker about how  _I'm_ the one who is right!." Peter threw the board away and waved at the camera. "Thanks for watching, and please do comment that Spider-Man is right and Mr. Stark is wrong!" 

Tony groaned again and gave the camera a half hearted wave. "Thanks for watching I guess," 

Then the camera turned off but the watcher could still hear the two bicker and a loud laugh from Spider-Man.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a major ass wipe to write, sorry it sucks :(((
> 
> please send other interviews/comments you would like to see in future stories and please do leave kudos and comments, they really motivate me to write more!


End file.
